rants from the road

A few random observations of Nepal while riding back to KTM:

Machines here have opposite ratios of intended function to side effect. This bus lookalike device, rather than being intended for locomotion, was designed to convert gasoline into internal vibrations and screeching. The rolling effect is only a consequence of imperfect design and entropy. The same thing happens in motorbikes. Motion is an inevitable inconvenience of the internal combustion mechanism, featuring whatever the exact opposite of a catalytic converter is, the true purpose of which is to transmute Himalayan air into tufts of ash.

Nepal is a world leader on developmental forefront of smoke/smog production technologies, spontaneous combustion products, startling noisemakers, and certainly unpleasant smells of uncertain origin. Its consultants in rickitiness are highly paid and sought the world over to teach seminars on the many uses of tape to make things wobble before collapsing.

Also, on Nepalese roads, the pitch of a vehicle’s horn is inversely proportional to its size. Small 3 wheel tuk tuks have terrifyingly deep blasting ricolla pipes compared to the little-girls- pink-bicycle horn of all trucks and large busses. Mid size buses and oil tankers feature what Daniel has dubbed “the world’s fastest mariachi band” horns. And massive flatbed trucks with irregular loads ranging from 1 dozen water buffalo to other flatbed trucks have horns like keychain kazoos. The only exception are the little-funnel-cake-carts full of anything-but-funnel-cakes. Those lack an engine, instead relying on flintstone style sole power. The horn is usually of the cartoonish squeeze bulb variety taped onto the also taped on umbrella.

And if you’ve ever wondered where all the unsold t-shirts from forgotten metal concert tours go to die, look no further than the Himalayan hills where the village elderly are as likely to be sporting a slipknot shirt as a newari hat.

end rant

Daniel and i are back in Pepsicola and tired.
The monsoon is coming and I'm starting to feel a bit burnt out before even having done anything here.